Years ago, in the thick of pregnancy insomnia, the Lord whispered in my ear the same message He did about six months prior to my 40th birthday.
Stephanie, we need to talk.
A decade or so prior, my response to His nudge was early morning journaling. Since my mind moves faster than pens in my hand I turned to a blinking cursor and a digital blank page. Together, for years, God and I talked when the rest of the world was resting. He showed me truths while two of my littles rolled around in my belly, growing and stretching. I, too, was doing the same, just in a much different way. Our talks shifted me like an earthquake does the tectonic plates of the ground was walk on. I became forever moved, and the Lord was doing it yet again.
My husband had begun to think of how to ring in my next decade with a celebration he was determined to make memorable. While I was grateful for his proactive thoughts, I felt in my core that this birthday wasn’t meant to be welcomed with a surprise party, large crowds or even oodles of confetti cake. A different path was forging, and the Lord was calling me.
Stephanie, we need to talk. I’ll meet you in the mountains.
Hiking has always been one of my love languages. While I realize I’m high-maintenance in some parts of my life, when it comes to my happiness, I’m quite the opposite. A handful of things fills me up. Cats, plants, books, family and hikes. Put all of those in a box with a pretty bow, and I’m set for life. My eyes perk up when someone I meet shows a wee bit of interest in any of my favorites. I’ve been known to talk for hours about each.
Cats I can pet. Plants I can water. Books I can read. But family and hikes are both experiences that I embark upon. And God was calling me to one.
Stephanie, we need to talk. I’ll meet you in the mountains. Forty times.
After hearing the calling God put on my heart multiple times, I decided to bust Cory’s secretive birthday celebration. No parties required, I told him one day. Instead, I feel like this decade needs to be welcomed differently; God’s calling me to meet Him in the mountains. We have a lot to discuss. He’s calling me on a pilgrimage.
One afternoon, as I laid in our bed in the middle of an unexpected and unwelcome episode my annoying chronic illness had created, I found myself watching a Netflix documentary called Mysteries of the Faith. The first episode discussed the pilgrimages that many Christians take to deepen their faith, see relics up close and personal and find God in the journey. I laid there, stuck in my body’s brokenness from the grip hypersomnia/narcolepsy had on me, wishing I could go on a pilgrimage. That’s when God opened my eyes to another way to meet Him that didn’t require a plane flight.
Stephanie, we need to talk. I’ll meet you in the mountains. Forty times over your 40th year.
The closer my birthday got, the louder God got. He didn’t just want to meet me on one hike; He wanted me to push myself outside of my comfort zone and make room for him in my 40th year for 40 hikes across Kentucky, the beautiful state I have the pleasure to live in. At the time, I hadn’t realized just how special 40 was to God. But, like everything, Facebook began to pick up on my thoughts (or, better yet, God began to crystalize His purpose) and I began to see just how special 40 is.
And rain fell on the earth forty days and forty nights. (Genesis 7:12)
As Noah and his family finished building the ark, God had it rain for 40 days and nights which led to the Great Flood and a moment where God reminded how He can create, decreate and recreate.
Then Moses entered the cloud as he went on up the mountain. And he stayed on the mountain forty days and forty nights. (Exodus 24:18)
God called Moses near to Him and He delivered the Ten Commandments after Moses was on the top of a mountain consumed in a cloud for 40 days and nights.
Your children will be shepherds here for forty years, suffering for your unfaithfulness, until the last of your bodies lies in the wilderness. For forty years—one year for each of the forty days you explored the land—you will suffer for your sins and know what it is like to have me against you. (Numbers 14:33-34)
God’s chosen people, the Israelites, wandered in the wilderness for 40 years after leaving Egypt. I can only image the struggles they faced; and yet, God still guided them all throughout.
Jonah began by going a day’s journey into the city, proclaiming, “Forty more days and Nineveh will be overthrown.” (Jonah 3:4)
God had a calling for Jonah, giving him a message that only he could deliver to Ninevah. After running from his calling (and living inside a whale for 3 days and 3 nights), he listened to God’s message the second time with purpose. The city would be overthrown in 40 days if there wasn’t repentance.
Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. (Matthew 4:1-12)
Temptation found Jesus at the end of His 40-day/40-night fasting. When He was at His lowest, the temptor attacked, hoping to knock Him down and turn Him from God. But even at His weakest, He didn’t waver.
As I researched deep in Scripture, I uncovered more and more recounts of how the number 40 was aligned with hardship, periods of drought and famine, wilderness meanderings, testing, preparation and transitions. My life has found itself in a season where unknown, unfair challenges and feelings of testing have been prevalent; front and center, up close and personal. I was reminded that nothing happens by chance; God’s in control.
It’s not coincidental that God has called me to the mountains on my 40th year for 40 hikes so we could talk. He has things to say and it’s time for me to turn on my listening ears. He has a path for me and it’s time for me to surrender and trust Him. He’s so patient and yet, He’s ready to walk in the wilderness alongside me. Together, much like we did a decade prior, we’d find our North Star.
I already know my North Star. It’s Him.
But I don’t quite know where He’s pointing. Yet.
Stephanie, we need to talk. I’ll meet you in the mountains. Forty times over your 40th year. Let’s meditate on My Word. Together.
As my birthday inched closer, I gained greater clarity on my charge. I began researching the best hikes across Kentucky. I wanted to plan my pilgrimage. Wouldn’t you? (Yes, God laughed when I told Him. He had other plans.) So, no surprise to many, but the planning part of the 40 hikes was cumbersome, a reminded to me to focus on the core callings for this pilgrimage.
- Show up. Put on walking shoes and hike. No excuses. No expectations. I was called to hike, God will fill in the rest.
- Commit to 40 hikes in a year. I may not know where I’m heading next, but I know that 3-4 hikes a month are required to achieve my goal.
- Study the Word. The best way to hear God is to study His message. The last piece of the pilgrimage God offered was a request to pick a Scripture passage to study in preparation and reflect upon during.
His request of me felt small in comparison to the promise on the otherside. There is a 41st. While there may be 40 days of hardship, 40 years of wandering, 40 days of rain… there is a 41st where new life is met, change is seen, the path is clear. As I walk closer to my 41st, I do so in hope that I will be replenished spiritually, emotionally and physically.
Stephanie, we need to talk. I’ll meet you in the mountains. Forty times over your 40th year. Let’s meditate on My Word. Together. There is much I want to give you, but it requires you to leave much behind.
The day before my 40th, I had a coffee chat scheduled with a friend’s husband. He was wanting to explore what it looked like to write and publish a book, a topic I have a lot of knowledge on. I rushed into the coffee shop, overwhelmed by the demands of the world and ready for a momentary reprieve. It was the last meeting I had before my pilgrimage began and I was pumped.
As I got settled and began to get my notes out, my friend walked in the coffee shop. Knowing she had other commitments, I was confused why she was here, knowing her husband and I were talking books. I’m just dropping off your birthday gift, she told me as her two boys joined her with outstretched arms. With tears in my eyes, I opened her gift bag which revealed the last yet unknown piece of my journey.
Two gifts emerged. One was a box that held foot cream and socks. “After your hikes, care for your feet,” she reminded me. I needed to be kind to the body God gave me if I were going to accomplish the challenge He sat before me. The second gift was a bag of rocks. Perplexed I pulled them out, offering a smile her way as I knew it came with a story.
“I know you’re going on these hikes to walk with God; to learn from Him,” she began. “But I want to challenge you to leave something behind along the way.” She continued to tell me that the bag held 40 rocks, one for each hike. Her charge for me was to consider along the hike something I wanted to leave behind; a weight I wanted to give up. “Write on each rock something you don’t want to carry anymore, and leave it on your hike. Leave it behind.”
To accept a gift from God, I realized, would require me to give up something in return. Originally, I thought it was some of my time and energy. But in addition, I suspect I’ll learn, there is much more I need to give up. My pride. My worries. My own desires. My plans. I still don’t know what I will be asked to give up but I do know that what I will receive will not only be lighter, but worth much, much more.
Stephanie, we need to talk. I’ll meet you in the mountains. Forty times over your 40th year. Let’s meditate on My Word. Together. There is much I want to give you, but it requires you to leave much behind. I can’t wait to see you there.
On April 17, the day of my 40th birthday, I said yes to a request God placed on my heart. Over this next year, I can’t wait to hear God’s voice, learn from Him, walk alongside Him and emerge a new woman…
One who is willing to let go to let God… One who loves herself as God loves her… One who is even more trusting of God leading her paths… One who knows not every path is easy, but all are worth it…
Would you join me? In prayer? Possibly on a hike? Deep in God’s Word?
2 thoughts on “A 40-Hike Pilgrimage”
Would love to join you sometime. It could help me gain a deeper meaning of my lifes paths.
That would be wonderful! I’d love to do that with you. And I’m confident that the Lord will shed light on a message for your heart and your life’s path in the process. Let’s get it on the schedule!